Ask Yourself: Is That Where I Want to Be?

I recall getting a math teacher with my friends, as they wanted me to be good at maths. I was pretty good at math so I had one mentor, so he would tell me: The reason you're struggling with the next question is that you're still thinking about what your parents think. Which remained in my had. I was felt like, man. And as long as I'm stuck on what my parents think, I will honestly never find the answers to the real questions of life. Because of all these small stuff that happened. I lost 2 wonderful friends when I was 16 years old. One girl died in a traffic crash, one guy died from drugs and abuse. This has helped me ponder all over again. I was only thinking about waiting a minute for myself, these were lovely people, people I liked, people who were nice in my mind. So in a second, I just missed them. It's been sort of like this explosion of little stuff that just made me think to wait a minute. To have money, to have success, this just doesn't seem to add up. And then meeting the monk kind of made possible that shift.


Like I said he was captivating. And then I found out he had given up work as a monk at Google and Microsoft. I was wondering to myself What is this? He has given up all that I chase, all that my friends chase, but he seems happier than anyone I've ever met before. He talked about this amazing principle where he said we should plant trees under whose shade we don't plan to sit down. Then he'd spoken of this selfless obligation theory. Only that kind of hit me right there. For the first time in my career, as he said the words selfless devotion, I got a thrill of something I never experienced before. I thought wow, giving up everything you have for other people's service sounds like the best you could do. I don't know why I think so, because I didn't grow up as a spiritual child. I wasn't a grown-up Christian child.


I didn't even grow up like a good kid. I was just a punk, a crazy guy, trying stuff out I still fancy myself an experimenter. Then what I started doing is interning at businesses and organizations and corporations assuming that I was having a grad job and then I would spend the rest of my summer break interning in India living with him as a monk. I still had friends who were older than I. I could see all of them have good families, great work, lovely partners, but I've seen a feeling of loss of satisfaction, value and reason in their lives so I've always been an outsider so I'd see those people who were maybe 5 years older than me, maybe 7 years older than me, maybe 10 years older than me, and I'd see them and go.




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