Relationships of all kinds are beautiful and that’s why it hurts the most when we have to let go of a person that we believed was our one and only. Ernest Hemingway once said, “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” To move on from a relationship that you gave your everything to is one of the hardest things that you’ll ever have to go through.
There is no denying the fact that everybody has their own way of coping with such situations but the following is a list of suggestions that might be helpful for someone who is stuck in their recovery process.
1. Consider Your Life As A Journey
The more you consider life as rigid, the more trouble you will face in moving on. It’s important to see your life as a fluid journey where you’re ought to have different experiences. An end of a relationship never suggests an end of your story. We might feel like we have to leave a part of ourselves behind in the process of moving on but the truth is we are still whole, evolving, and growing with time.
2. Silence The Voices Inside You
We are our biggest critics. The cruel voice inside our heads often tells us things like no one would ever like you, you don’t trust men, and you’ll be alone forever and much more, etc. Hence, it becomes essential to separate this voice from our real perspective so we can find peace within ourselves.
3. Reflect On Your Relationship
After a breakup, we tend to remember the relationship for only the good parts and what it could have become. We neglect the struggles and the issues we faced while we were with our partners and this makes it much harder for us to accept reality. Therefore, we should reflect realistically and feel more resilient towards moving on.
4. Don’t Shy Away From Feelings
Generally, we hear people telling an individual not to cry after a breakup and to stay strong. However, this is the wrong piece of advice. An individual feels raw after a breakup, and hence, they should feel all those feelings no matter how sad they are. This would help the person not to bottle up their emotions and heal in a better way.
5. Talk About It
Talking about your relationship and what led to the breakup is one of the most useful steps for moving on. Talking to someone is the hardest part of grieving yet the most necessary. Try to share your thoughts with somebody who has gone through something similar or a friend who can sympathize or make you laugh.
6. Understand Your Personality
Stanford researchers recently found out that individuals who see personality as fixed are more likely to blame themselves and their “toxic personalities” for the breakup, whereas individuals who consider their personality as changeable view breakup as an opportunity to grow and evolve. Such people find it slightly easy to move on.
7. Stop Being Harsh On Yourself
Embracing self-compassion in a hard time like this is especially important. We should treat ourselves like we treat others when they are going through something tough. Higher self-compassion leads to less negative thoughts, bad dreams, and less rumination.
8. Practice Meditation
A breakup can leave you with a lot of negative energy and the best way to deal with it is to put all that energy into exercising and meditation so you can also feel productive by the end of it. Practicing mindfulness meditation helps in reducing stress by teaching us to accept our feelings and thoughts. Headspace is a great app that guides people through simple mindfulness exercises.
9. Gather A Support-team
Our friends and family can be our biggest cheerleaders when we find it hard to live our lives like we used to. Gathering a group of people with whom you can be open, honest, and feel comfortable enough to share anything can bring a major change in your life. This support group can include friends, family, co-workers, counselors, and anybody who makes us feel positive.
10. Self-care Must Be A Priority
At a time like this when we want to become our biggest enemy, it’s important to remind ourselves that. We must follow the basics – Eat, sleep, and exercise. Sleeping too much can make us feel lethargic and sleeping too less can make us anxious and disoriented. By eating too much or too little, we are again doing a disservice to our bodies. Therefore, we need to find a balance in our lives and in our activities.
11. Indulge In New Activities
One of the healthiest ways to move on from a relationship is finding ways that make you feel yourself again. You can take up any new hobby that you like visiting a new place, learning a new language and much more. However, if you want to do things that you used to do before getting into a relationship then that’s a great step too. The main idea behind this is to find ourselves whether through discovering new aspects or reconnecting with old ones.
12. Help Others
Practicing generosity should never wait until a specific time or situation comes. The more we connect with others, the more we forget about our own problems. Volunteering can come as a distraction and valuable use of time no matter how small the act of kindness is.
13. Don’t Compare
Idealizing our relationship with somebody specific doesn’t end with the end of a relationship. Often people carry the same expectations in their next relationship, which makes them compare their present partners with their previous ones. This is not a healthy practice as an individual needs to accept the fact that every partner and every bond is different.
This is the hardest and the most overused advice everybody is ought to give you after a breakup. This step, however, cannot be pushed. It will come to you only when you’re actually ready to forgive both your partner and yourself. Forgiveness is not a weak step rather the boldest one. It takes patience and courage to let somebody off the hook.
15. Choose To Move On
The reality behind any “moving on” tips is that you can never actually forget the person. They will always be a part of your life and you can never erase the moments you have shared with them. Except one thing that is in your hands is to embrace reality. You definitely can’t change it then why not just accept it.
Treat this breakup as a new beginning to your life but don’t rush it. You can take all the time you need to come in terms with it and once you feel in more control of your life then make the same mistakes again because love is worth it all.